Sunday, August 26, 2012


It grinds my gears when I state an opinion, meaning something that concerns me and only me, and somebody else feels the need to add on to it and negate everything I just said with the inclusion of what they believe?
For example:
Man, I love Snickers. It’s my favorite candy. The best!
Yeah, Snickers and Butterfinger are the best.

It’s not even about anyone asking for their input because let’s face it, who ever asks for anyone’s input? It’s the fact that they use your sentiments and latch theirs onto it in a way that seems like you agree. If I say I think Snickers is the best that means I think just Snickers is the best. It’s set in stone with me. I didn’t leave anything out, I didn’t forget to say Butterfinger. For you to say “yeah, and…” whatever you think measures up to what I’m saying just sullied my pure opinion. There wasn’t any indication that those feelings even belonged to you rather than you trying to correct my beliefs with yours. You could’ve just came out and said what you liked completely separate from my statement.


It would’ve went like this:
Man, I love Snickers. It’s my favorite candy. The best!
Mine too. I love Snickers. Snickers and Butterfinger.



Saturday, August 25, 2012

Since I couldn't think of anything to write I thought it would be appropriate to share an essay I wrote for an english class last year:


In high school I would get real mad when I would watch African American TV shows. It wasn’t because I felt offended, but because I thought they were horrible. The production value of the shows were not up to par with the white shows and I would wonder why the writing wasn’t creative or funny. I believe that on the mission to be both morally politically and correct black people we are limiting our artistic expression.
A few days ago I was having a conversation with one of my friends about Denzel Washington winning an Oscar for “Training Day”. She presumed to use the same tired argument, “Black people only get rewarded when they are seen in a negative light.” In actuality, Sidney Poiter, Jennifer Hudson, and Morgan Freeman have all won Oscars for playing characters that were not negative and degrading in any way.  I also don’t recall any angry uprising from white people when Kim Basinger won an Oscar for playing a prostitute. It is becoming more apparent to me each day, as consumers we digress artistically because our reception of art is at the expense of what we have not been exposed to.
I fully became aware of this during my senior year when my African American studies teacher, Mr.Greyson bought in a magazine cover that Beyonce did for L’Officiel. In the picture  she had wore traditional African clothing and her face was painted black, but her body was still her normal tone. My teacher then went into a whole lecture on how white people would make fun of African Americans by painting only their face black and acting in an ignorant way. He then stated how she was degrading herself and all other black people by agreeing paint her face black for the photo shoot. I was completely thrown off, because I didn’t find anything about the photo offensive, because black skin is not offensive by itself. Beyonce’s face was not painted black while eating a banana, fried chicken, or talking like an illiterate slave. She simply painted her face black, because in the actual interview that no one dared to read, she was inspired by an African man named Fela Kuti. This was her way of paying homage to man that she admired and she could’ve easily just stopped at the clothing, but she decided to go full on. The true intent of black face was not to reduce black people to a skin tone, but to reduce them to subhuman creatures. My biggest problem with what my teacher was saying was not that he was talking negatively about my favorite singer but what his rant said about our tolerance as consumers.
After Mr.Greyson finished speaking, he let the class discuss our opinions and I was baffled at how many people had claimed that they thought the pictures were offensive when in actuality the majority of them had just learned about what Mr.Greyson had just discussed. After a while of contemplating, I raised my hand and asked, “Are you really offended or are you offended, because you think you should be offended?” The whole class went quiet and I never really got a solid answer. 
I feel that in order to for us to see a change in the way we are represented in the media we must stop thinking as a self-righteous collective and start thinking as informed and cultured individuals. I am fully aware that it is important for blacks to be portrayed in a positive light, but when we reduce everything to “offensive” and “non offensive” we are leaving no room for creativity. Some of the most significant roles for black actors have been playing people who were not so so nice and some of the most reflective albums had language that was strongly suited. But, if we continue to easily get offended because we believe we are supposed to, then we cannot be mad at the two dimensional characters and the weak repetitive plots. We want our opinions to be taken serious, but most of our anger is based off what it means to be “black”, “real”, or “offensive”. I have experienced racism firsthand and as I age I’m learning that offensive is not just about image, but it is also about attitude and action.
All year in Mr.Greyson’s class we learned to think critically about what we see in the media, but at the same time we were told how to perceive every scenario that is non existent and relevant to society. 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Earlier today while having a discussion with a friend of mine, she bought up how much negativity she has gone through and one thing she said that really stood out to me was, "I am tired of praying." This particular comment made me think about the concept of religion and prayer. I thought about how we use it and how we use it when we don't want to use it. Then I started to think more in depth about my own beliefs. 

I believe in a God, per se, but not religion. I was raised around many Christians and feel that Christianity is just an interpretation, as well as many other systems of religion, of the world around us and its occurring events. There's no way I can say that Christianity is the only right religion, when there are thousands of them. There's too many obvious contradictions in it for me to follow it 100% anymore. Many religious texts have the same themes and motifs, such as the destruction of the earth and the rebirth of it. I'm starting to study and read into many belief systems to build my knowledge on spirituality, before I make a final decision as to what to believe. I'm confused about it all. But I do believe in a higher power. I just don't understand how we can read a book and assume everything in it is correct when there are obvious flaws lying within.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Beyoncé



In the past, I had never really thought of Beyoncé as anything more than another pop star making music for radio.

I didn't hate her music, but I didn't love it either.


When I was 15, in early 2009, I got an iTunes gift card and I decided to get the deluxe versions of her 3rd solo studio album I Am... Sasha Fierce.

I wasn't into popular music at all, but the album was heavily talked about, and I wasn't spending 
any real money on it.

Listening to this album changed my perspective on Pop music and female artists.
It was like she came into my life singing about all the right things at the right time.
I liked how the albums was like a dichotomy of the her because I feel like everyone has 2 sides to them.

This was when I started to fall in love with her as an artist.
I started watching videos and listening to interviews to learn more about her.

The main thing that attracted me to her musically was her hunger. It is extremely inspiring. She seems to always be thriving for more & not settling in with the norm. Going against the grain even if you're not sure whatever will work.









Thursday, August 16, 2012



Yesterday, while in english the instructor told everyone in class to share why they were at CCSF and what they were hoping to gain. A common answer among everyone was to gain knowledge and secure a good paying job. After hearing everyones answer it hit me that we all grow up with this conformed expectation that if you're smart, you go to college, and if you go to college, you get a good job, and somehow through hard work you become Bill Gates. In reality, for the most part, it does not always work that way. You can be the most educated person in the world and still live the daily struggles of society. 

Later on I thought about my past year and realized that I learned a valuable lesson. A lesson that would bring me to CCSF. I learned that my intelligence and my life were not to be defined by what I was supposed to be doing, or what people expected me to do, but rather my experiences and my choices. 

Monday, August 13, 2012

A Quotable Quote

“I talked to 30,000 people on this show and they all had one thing in common. They all wanted validation. Everyone you meet wants to know “Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?”
-Oprah Winfrey 

 I feel this quote applies to everyone. People seek validation in different ways from different people, but the fact remains that we seek it…crave it. No one likes to feel invisible, invalidated, taken for granted or worthless. Personally, in the past I wanted to feel like I made some type of impact. If I didn’t feel or receive validation, it affectted my self-esteem or caused me to create emotional voids that I spent forever trying to fill. 

While in Chicago, I found that when all else fails, seeing, hearing and valuing myself FOR myself has made all the difference.  Every now and then I would take just my iPod and a couple of dollars and wandered around Michigan Avenue to think and get some fresh air. One of the best days I’ve ever had was when I went ice skating by myself and then stopped at the park to swing.  It was awesome being on my own time-table, having to entertain and amuse just myself and relive a childhood joy without being asked why I was doing it.